Latest imagesA little humor about changing the oil!
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A little humor about changing the oil!
by Lady Herodias Fri 14 Mar - 21:40
I got this in my email today, and started laughing. Its just a little humor about changing the oil. Im apt to just take the easier way and take it to a oil station....knowing the stubborness of men, I thought the explanation below is a perfect example of what might happen.....I hope I dont offend anyone, but it is posted all in fun.
Oil Change instructions for Women :
1) Pull up to E-Z Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
OIL CHANGE
$20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00
==========
Oil Change instructions for Men :
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,
write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during a ny missed steps.
35) beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00
But you know the job was done right!
THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH...... AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT....
Oil Change instructions for Women :
1) Pull up to E-Z Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
OIL CHANGE
$20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00
==========
Oil Change instructions for Men :
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,
write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
Look for 9/16 box end wrench.9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during a ny missed steps.
35) beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00
But you know the job was done right!
THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH...... AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT....
Lady Herodias- Administrator
-
Number of posts : 506
Location : Oregon
Other games played : 2 Moons, Lineage 2
Registration date : 2008-02-24 -
Re: A little humor about changing the oil!
by Rade Sat 15 Mar - 5:42
I can sooo relate to the male journey of changing ones oil. Except I'd be drinking iced tea instead of beer so it would be cheaper 
We are a stubborn lot, us men and I for one am quite proud of this badge we wear.
Peace ... Rade
We are a stubborn lot, us men and I for one am quite proud of this badge we wear.
Peace ... Rade
Rade- Squire
-
Number of posts : 59
Registration date : 2008-03-03
Re: A little humor about changing the oil!
by Lady Herodias Sun 16 Mar - 4:11
If I were Queen, I would say "off with his head", and go get one of my trusty servants to to change the oil! But since I'm not, I would also drink my tea also and go hide!
Lady
Lady
Lady Herodias- Administrator
-
Number of posts : 506
Location : Oregon
Other games played : 2 Moons, Lineage 2
Registration date : 2008-02-24 -
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