Latest imagesHow to keep sane in an insane workplace
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How to keep sane in an insane workplace
by Lady Herodias Sun 4 May - 0:48
Way to keep healthy level of insanity in the workplace
1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
3. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
4. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
7. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
8. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
10. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
11. When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up."
12. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think?"
13. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a Parakeet.
14. Sit in the parking lot at lunchtime pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
15. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles
1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
3. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
4. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
7. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
8. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
10. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
11. When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up."
12. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think?"
13. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a Parakeet.
14. Sit in the parking lot at lunchtime pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
15. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles
Lady Herodias- Administrator
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Number of posts : 506
Location : Oregon
Other games played : 2 Moons, Lineage 2
Registration date : 2008-02-24 -
Re: How to keep sane in an insane workplace
by KibBen Mon 5 May - 2:31
I love #2. That's exactly the sort of trick I would do. Just the right level of complexity and absurdity, plus having to carry it on and on for a while before anyone really clued in.
KibBen- Stablehand
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Number of posts : 9
Location : Vancouver, BC
Registration date : 2008-03-26 -
Re: How to keep sane in an insane workplace
by Pampered One Mon 5 May - 17:03
The list I saw had one that I liked:
Finish each sentence you say with ....In accordance with the prophecy.
Pampered
Finish each sentence you say with ....In accordance with the prophecy.
Pampered
Pampered One- King
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Number of posts : 556
Location : Klamath Falls Oregon
Other games played : Lineage 2, 2 moons, CoH, CoV
Registration date : 2008-02-24
Re: How to keep sane in an insane workplace
by Aeternalia Mon 5 May - 20:25
Oh thats funny .. I agree Ben, the subtlety of that one would take a while to dawn on people.. but eventually would be a riot for those that knew.
James
James
Aeternalia- Lord
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Number of posts : 401
Location : St. Louis Mo
Registration date : 2008-02-25
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